Sean Fahie, The Dude: Part 1

Laughter is fucking deceiving.

Mainly because I just don’t know what’s so fucking funny or what’s being hidden.

Then he laughed.

And his voice rang through the house we were in. It was a throaty laugh. Is throaty is even a word? I don’t know but if it is… it’s a perfect description of when you hear Sean laugh for the first time. If you were standing in a crowded football field and this n___a laughed, you could hear him and know that Sean is somewhere in the building.

When I met him, all I was about was his smelly MARTA tank top. It was an old grey tank top decorated with the MARTA logo and associated colors. I loved that piece of shit because it screamed ATLANTA in my mind. I felt like I needed to have it but he wouldn’t give it to me. However, he understood in that moment my appreciation for it because it was the same as his whenever he purchased it. If he purchased it in the first place.

If you don’t get a chance to know him then all you can identify him by is his laughter. But laughter can be deceiving allowing him to just look like a “purveyor of fun.” This isn’t the case. If I had to call it after knowing him for this long, I would say that he appears to be The Dude mixed with Charles Bukowski. A black man version of the two men combined. There must be some sort of zen with this man because of his ability to be constantly set to chill. I’m sure there have been times where he’s totally flipped his lid but I’ve never seen it. I would be remiss to think that he never has.

It’s just that his laughter is so fucking deceiving.

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We Are All Earn’s Liver

Let me hip you to game. A Different World didn’t get one. Fresh Prince of Bel-Air didn’t get one. Martin, Living Single, Roc and Family Matters didn’t get one either. Not one. Not until Donald Glover walked onto that stage with his diverse group of colleagues and accepted the Golden Globe award for Best Television series – Musical or Comedy. We ain’t ever seen a n___a like him or a show like that win a damn award like a Golden Globe since the fucking Cosby Show.

The Cosby Show, my n___a! It’s fucking 2017!

What I do know is that the standard American public probably didn’t understand why so many black millennials were gassed the fuck up but it’s easy to comprehend in layman’s terms.

We Are All Earn’s Liver working through the muck and the shit of today’s contemporary society.

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Black Renaissance in the Age of Obama

Honestly, I didn’t think I was going to grieve like this. Unfortunately, I don’t become an emotional wreck with hot wet tears streaming down my face or emotional breakdowns like my liberal white women counterparts when Trump won the 2016 presidency. It’s not my style. I just keep it on the inside like every other disguised convoluted emotional wreck you know.

But I do think a lot. Too much in fact.

As a result of the exit of the Obamas, I’ve taken the time to reflect on the changes in black American popular culture over the past 8 years. The ups, downs, twisted turns and formations of new identities and subcultures as a result of just seeing a black family hold the nation’s highest political office. It has been one hell of a ride and truly, I can’t be prouder of the things I’ve seen and the young black people I’ve met. It’s like I’ve waited my entire life to be able to see black souls like me and find clothes that truly fit my personality. But these exciting changes didn’t happen without a few serious sacrifices to some traditional tenants of black culture. I’m talking more than the death of some famous black people. More than the decline of black women getting their hair permed. Bigger than the growing generational gap between black elders and youth.

With change comes the realization that things don’t have to stay the same.

(Ch-ch-changes! Turn and face the strange. Changes!)

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Perception is Everything

How do you define perception? Is it the same as the rest of us as we base it on what we see? Do you do what I do and calculate in factors to perception such as environment, identity and influence? I’m willing to bet that you do the same as I do and if not, you will now. But then there are some folk that I don’t question what they see, I slowly take it in and ask questions later.

Artemus Jenkins knows my soul, lawd. He knows that if he wants me to see something, he has to actively reach out to me and send a text message. Sometimes, social media isn’t the best way to get people like me to see what you’ve made. From August to June, I teach. I lose touch with what my friends are doing and miss when they do something really awesome. But not Artemus. He’s going to get in touch with me to show what he has made and I really appreciate him for it.

It took me seven whole days to catch up with his text and I finally got a chance to pay attention on an off day. No students, no family members. I could lay in bed with no worries if only for a little while. I took advantage of the free time and dived straight into the art. One thing that was different was this flick wasn’t a documentary. It was a short film. He was the cinematographer.

(Yes, bruh, you were more than a photographer with this one.)

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On Food, Art and Rebirth

I recently went through the beginning of a re-birthing process. All over the course of 36+ hours. If I have been walking through a dizzying abysmal abyss for the past few years, I’ve finally seen shimmering glints of the end. Quick flashes of what will be versus what could be. One weekend in Atlanta reminded me of why I call myself an artist. I’ve been telling people that I could categorize the entire weekend based on the meals I ate.

Starting with a Swedish meatball dinner in an IKEA, I sat across from Loved One anticipating a weekend of debauchery and intelligence. What more do you want? Where is this journey going? Why are you here? Questions swirled inside my brain and I still don’t need to know the answers. Five hours later, my food had digested, my brain was elevated and an impulsive stop at a hidden abandoned farmhouse off road restored my faith in my nasty habits and funny contradictions. It felt like an exorcism from the mundane I’ve come to accept as a result of parenthood.

I don’t know much about anything in this life but to live it by my own terms, of free spirited nature and intelligent mind. The artists I hold near and dear to me are the exact way. It’s taken me years to recognize and acknowledge this type of like minds. I had to hear it from an outsider to my world, Loved One. Not an artist. Not like us.

He missed out on the spicy broth soup with bok choy and Japanese sweet potatoes after he dropped me off at my friend’s house. It washed over me, calmed me down from previous hours of excitement and filled my belly with a warmth that welcomed me back into an ethereal fold. The adventure began the next day with a hunt for Takis and a cherry Coke.

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